vitriol and bile

I'm not sure what's worse - when Laser Printer Boy simply parrots other peoples' ideas that he clearly doesn't understand, or when he comes up with ideas on his own that he doesn't understand.

Mariah Carey is to star in Tennessee, a new movie about a family hit by crisis. The crisis arises when the family realizes they are stuck in a Mariah Carey movie.
I was washing my hands in the Men's Washroom at work, when I noticed lots of little hairs around the sink, likely the remnants of a recent shave. I started to get angry, but calmed down when I realized that it was wholly unreasonable of me to expect others to clean up after themselves at the sink when they still haven't mastered flushing the toilet when they're done.
And further to that thought, are the guys who don't flush the same geniuses who throw toilet paper in the urinal?

nicked from
Ur eep what youse owe...
I'm not sure what is more depressing ... the supply cabinet door with the "liquad paper" label, or the bottle inside with the "Wite-Out" label.

A passing thought...
Winning awards and accolades for a project born of ignorance, fevered egos and sheer uncompetence is like pooping a turd shaped exactly like the Venus deMilo and being hailed a defecatory genius. When, in reality, sometime shit just happens.

a nod to Bill Hicks for my appropriation of the phrase "fevered egos" ... not to be confused with "flavoured eggos"

A Glossary

"focused on the business" = "shut up. when we want your opinion, we'll tell you what it is"
"flexible" = "bend over"
"agile" = "now" ; used primarily in conjunction with "flexible", as in "flexible and agile" = "bend over, now!"
"business-aligned" = "or you're fired" ; also used in conjunction with "flexibile" and "agile", as in "flexible, agile and business-aligned" = "bend over, now, or you're fired!"
"uncompetent" = unconsciously competent; being devoid of those qualities requisite for effective conduct or action by all measures, yet at a particular instance is properly capable.

Just a couple of thoughts...

"It is cold comfort to know that when we are forbidden to deliver the right thing, we are able to deliver the wrong thing very quickly"

"What disappoints me is not the fact that I get fucked up the ass on a regular basis, but rather that neither party derives any pleasure from the act whatsover"

microsoftened - the resulting condition of a technology that, in typical Microshaft fashion, has been embraced, extended, and emasculated.

Some choice thoughts about an organization I will dub *Vendor X* ...

"That (*Vendor X*) rep is such a whore. Is there anyone's dick he won't suck?"

"*Vendor X* salesmen would rather eat their children than lose a sale ...
and they're very fond of their children"

My respects to Richard Condon and John Huston for the second comment - which is shamelessly, but accurately, lifted from Prizzi's Honor.
My response to a comment about the "collective we" didn't want to apply a rule on either the firewall or the router, because the "collective we" didn't want them working too hard ...

"It's comforting to know the work ethic expected of our devices
is no greater than the work ethic expected of our staff"

My response to a comment about the harshness of the previous response ...

"It was simply an observation about the work ethic of
the ... tools ... we choose to employ here"

An excerpt from the novel I may never write ...

"... my only regret in giving him the nickname 'cocksuckermotherfucker' is that, while rhythmically cathartic, in no way does the nickname reflect his capacity for stupidity. And try as I might, there is no way to work the word 'dumbass' into the name without disrupting the rhythm ..."
An oldie but a goodie:

This registry entry represents the colour depth as a power of 2.
If you don't know what a power of 2 is, get the fuck out, now.

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